A case of the Mondays


Sunday night I had a serious case of the “Mondays”- meaning I was feeling overwhelmed with all I needed/wanted to get done this week. Monday morning, Scotland woke up with a case of the “needies” meaning he wanted to be held constantly. The weather was an oppressive gray, and my list of “to dos” were shelved as I decided such a day called for snuggling, reading, and lots of Scotland time. Even then, my “do’s” played across my mind all day. I found myself thinking, as I have since I graduated, that having full accountability for how one spends one time is the ultimate of responsibilities. When I was in school, I really had to get certain assignments done, I had to practice if I wasn’t going to look lame in my lesson, I had to . . . . Now, I could just as easily spend all day browsing the internet, or visiting friends, or shopping, or visiting lonely widows, or talking to my family, or cleaning the house, or studying the scriptures, or reading. The possibilities are endless- and daunting. At times I feel frozen, unsure of the best way to use my time. Before I had Scotland, my time was all available for my pursuits, so I could spend an hour doing something frivolous and still have time to do the more important things. Now a days, with my time so segmented, and much of my time requiring a baby in tow, I have to seriously consider what is most important to accomplish during his nap times. For example, I can read do my spiritual study while I’m holding him, but it tends to be less deep. Should I do that while he naps? I’ve decided to write this blog post during his nap, because I find writing clears my mind and helps me find meaning in life but should I instead be practicing the piano so I’ll be ready for work tomorrow? Not to mention, this is the best time to be exercising. If I don’t do yoga now, I won’t all day. I have a pile of frames that are waiting to be sprayed white so I can assemble them into a collage on Scotland’s wall- then I’ll need to find subject matter to put in them. I haven’t read my Sunday school lesson yet. I didn’t make dinner last night- how many nights in a row should we eat left overs? After a week, and two failed attempts, Mable still doesn’t have her chocolates. I told my Mom I would help her design a flyer for her house yesterday- I didn’t. Book club is next week and I’m only a few pages into the book- I’m hosting. My floors haven’t been mopped in way too long. And yet, as I write all these things their insignificance strikes me. Should any of these things really supersede loving, teaching, and listening to Scotland. Should painting frames or making dinner really replace sitting down with Tom, to do his favorite activity- watching movies? Life is a puzzle. I’m just starting.


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