When I chose the colors for my college quilt they were yellow, coral, orange and green. It was a summer all year long sort of quilt. An unapologetically happy quilt. When I bought a coverlet to cover our bed after we moved into our first home. I chose white.
When Tom and I chose our plates for our wedding registry I chose bright red. Not knowing if we’d get them I also bought some thick earthenware plates in watermelon green. Soon enough the red were put in the camping bin- as they clashed with our new kitchen with his calming green cabinets and pale yellow walls. The green plates eventually got donated when the boys started unloading the dishwasher and stacks of them were too heavy. And to be honest, once I started following food blogs, I could never get over how unappealing many meals looked on them. Now my plates are white. Except for two “fun” plates that I purchased as decor for our Shaker Heights kitchen. They are bright green and blue with a fun geometric pattern, the boys always choose them.
When I was in college people assumed I was from California because I dressed in such vivid colors. Now my closet is full of black, gray, and muted greens and blues.
I was so delighted when my grandmother gave me flatware for a wedding gift. With a serving for 12, all of my forks and spoons could be the same! Something I never saw in my childhood home with all it’s mismatch flatware. How I loved Thanksgiving when we would use the fine silverware and everyone’s forks would match! Now, my boys fight over the one “special” fork in our drawer- the ornate one. And they thrill to be at Grandma’s house with it’s many options.
A few months ago while studying Japan. We took the kids to Goodwill and let them each choose a tea cup. Their own tea cup. It was a strangely defining moment for me. Scotter chose a fancy French matching tea cup and plate lined with a thick line of gold. Anders chose a dark brown clay cup with a thick plain cream plate. Tom choose a Japanese cup with no handle but ornate Japanese art in gold plate and rust orange, I chose a delicate German cup with a wildflower nosegay painted both inside and outside the cup. To accompany I chose an English plate with mauve flowers circling the perimeter and a pastoral scene depicted in the middle. The boys chose a teal espresso cup with matching plate for Chiara. These plates and cups clutter our drawer. They don’t all stack, they definitely don’t match. But we all love them. I get a strange thrill whenever I drink tea from my dainty cup. I can’t describe the feeling, but it’s as if I am opening the door to a different self, a more feminine, gentle self- one that I have squelched my whole life. ( I’ve been an “I don’t like pink!” type of girl as long as I remember.)
Now as a homeschooling family, I’m always seeking ways to make our school-room/main living spaces more enlightening and inspiring. In so doing, I’ve realized that the style I’ve so carefully created over the past decade is lacking. My home’s pallet is calming, but it is not invigorating. My minimalist style is clean, but not creative. Slowly as I become more and more in-tune with my children, my inner child creeps up and I feel a longing for that brightly colored quilt, eclectic artsy dishes, and bright energetic artwork. I’m craving color.
With a move on the horizon, I’ve found myself considering what sort of space I want to create next. I feel a sort of dissonance when I try to force my children to inhabit and abide in a purely adult space. But as I’ve allowed them to breath life into our home- to decorate it and add their own touches. I’ve felt my own breath quickening. While I was so keen to adapt the “adult” aesthetic a decade ago, now I feel a desire to let out my inner child. While I will, no doubt, always hold on to my love of simplicity, peace, and order; I hope to give wings to my love of art, color, and movement!